You Are Banana Fran - GAS IT UP!

driving

You dash the garlic salt across the faces of two advancing vamps who collapse into lumps of blisters and screams. You slash the shaker around violently and it holds the vamps at bay. An idea flashes, a brilliant one. You douse yourself with the remainder of the shaker. Capitalizing on the opening, a vamp sinks his claws into you, but quickly recoils as his hand explodes into a flurry of blisters. A few of the more aggressive vampires continue to make attempts at you only to retreat with a cry, a newly blistered body-part and a fist to the jaw.

You're surrounded but the vamps are hesitant. Then, a shrill screech over the sound system, "Out of the way, morons - GUARDS!" Vamps jump for the rafters.

"Sorry, but capes and coffins ain't really my thing."

You step forward a little. The crowd watches you intently as you you rest your boot on Ted's bloodied face. "Beside, you guys die a little too easy." The wet crunch of Ted's skull beneath your boot compliments your point nicely.

"Pity." responds the podium vampire, already disinterested in the whole scene. With a casual snap of his fingers the room is a frenzy of movement.

Oh, you make a 'break' alright. Ted's ankle is shattered by a swift kick from your right foot. Before the young vamp even has time to hit the ground, you're on your feet, arm around his neck, grenade against his face.

"Unless you were already planning to paint this conference hall in shades of Teddy, you're gonna let me walk out of here nice and easy."

A voice you recognize from just seconds ago chirps shrilly through the speakers, "My, what an intimidating piece of fruit." The hundred vamps you're now facing erupt in laughter.

Before you can even guess at what's so funny, you're gripping a cloud of red smoke. You remember, all too late, that smoke-shifting is the most basic of the vampire shape-shifting arts.

Suddenly there are 2 dozen submachine guns pointed your way. Banana-regeneration won't help you this time. A bit of feedback escapes the speakers before, "FIRE!"

Thousands of bullets tear you to shreds. You're dead.

THE END

That was fun, let me take another go! Let me at some of that other comic action!

AD MONSTER